Lisa Muccilo`s story is written by her sister-in-law, Lise Muccilo. Sadly, Lisa passed away from breast cancer on Monday, August 18th, 2003. Lisa`s involvement and inspiration to the YSC was insurmountable. Her work as a board member, Education and Outreach Committee Officer, and head of YSC New Jersey will be remembered by those she knew and those she never met, as she positively impacted the lives of all YSC members.

I always believed or felt that I lived in this imaginary special bubble, where no harm would come to my family or me. At 27 years old, I was fortunate never to have experienced death or for that matter any other traumatic illness. I always felt that someone was watching out for me and as long as I was optimistic everything would be all right. Unfortunately, such thinking doesn`t last forever and in September 1995 the floor fell from beneath my feet and so my story begins.

I was pregnant with my first child, joyful news for our families especially my husband`s, for this was to be the first grandchild. Our joy was interrupted in September 1995 when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of forty-nine. I still remember the phone call, the tears, the shock and disbelief, I could not imagine this happening to my family. My In-laws are not your typical "In-laws". I love them as much as I love my own family, we are close and supportive, that is what was needed at this trying time. Fortunately my mother-in-law`s breast cancer was caught at the early stages, so after surgery no further treatment was needed - what a relief! Their first grandson was born seven months later and today I am proud to say my mother-in-law is almost a five-year survivor!

In September 1997 my bubble burst once again when my sister-in-law Lisa was diagnosed with breast cancer at the very young age of 27. Lisa had called me at work with the news. As she spoke she was strong.  I couldn`t believe how strong.  I don`t even remember what I said to her.  I remember that once I hung up that receiver I couldn`t stop crying. I called my husband with the news; you do not know how hard it is to tell your husband that his little sister has breast cancer. Naturally I was hysterical on the phone; my husband was trying to calm me down because, you see, Lisa is not a sister-in-law to me -- she is a sister, a friend. I have known her since she was 16; we have shared plenty of great times together; I love her and would do anything to help her get through this traumatic time. I came home that night, embraced my husband and cried knowing we had a long hard road ahead of us and we needed to be strong for Lisa.

Lisa had a lumpectomy in October 1997, followed by chemotherapy, a stem cell transplant and radiation. Lisa held her head high.  I don`t think I can count on one hand the times I have seen her cry. Through the hair loss, nausea and other nasty side effects, Lisa made it look easy but I know it wasn`t. The family also persevered, and was loving and supportive. I tried hard not to cry in front of her to give her strength to get through this ordeal. Each morning I wake up I thank God for the day and pray that a cure for breast cancer will be found soon.

Just as life was resuming my Grandmother became ill in the spring of 1999. I was extremely close to my grandmother so when she spent two weeks in the hospital I was there every night. After two weeks she came home, unfortunately with a poor prognosis, so we were instructed to make her comfortable. I was aware of my grandmother`s failing health but yet the reality did not sink in that I may lose her. When my family called on March 31, 1999, I went to my mom`s house, but by the time I arrived she no longer recognized any of us and she died a short time later with the family by her side. I was devastated. My grandmother lived ninety happy healthy years but yet I could not come to grips with losing her, I still can`t. I tell you this story because March 31, 1999 was the saddest day of my life. Not only did I lose my grandmother, but also my sister-in-law Lisa received the results of a biopsy that was performed on a lump she had found a few days earlier. I remember that morning when I received the call that grandma was bad, I remember saying "Dear God if you are going to take my Grandma today please make Lisa`s lump be benign". I guess he didn`t hear me because the lump was malignant. I couldn`t come to grips with anything that transpired that day.

In April 1999 Lisa, at the age of 28, had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. The surgery was many hours; the family waited for word when we might be able to see her. They allowed us into the recovery room and it was there that I lost it; I had to leave the room because the sight of her laying there so limp and helpless overcame me. She spent almost a week in the hospital. Once again the family was loving, supportive and helpful. Lisa returned to work just a few weeks later, still the strong, determined person she always had been.

Lisa has not seen my tears; I am sure she has felt my strength and support through this ordeal. What has brought piece of mind to Lisa and me was joining a group called The Young Survival Coalition, a group of young dynamic woman united in the fight against this horrible disease. YSC, as it is known, is determined to raise awareness especially in young woman and raise money to fight and search for a cure. Lisa and I are active in this group and I think it has been a beneficial, positive light in Lisa`s life.

This is my story, I wish my imaginary bubble could protect me, but, as you can see, it has been severed several times. The bubble still exists, repaired each time and I continue to think positively and optimistically. In today`s world no one is immune to the ugliness, we can only hope that the ugliness fades to beauty and everyone is healthy. I still search for my silver lining, some days it is just a bit more obscure than others.