October 1993, was my senior year in high school. I was planning prom, powderpuff football and spring break in Mexico, NOT Breast Cancer. Never did I think the night I was lying in bed watching TV and doing homework would I find a lump. Not knowing exactly what that meant I went to my mother as any 17 year old girl would do. We scheduled a appointment with my OB/GYN for that week and back to homework and TV I went. My gynecologist referred me to a surgeon who became my knight in shining armor. I can remember my appointment as clear as day. Doc did a needle aspiration and concluded with "I am sure everything is ok, but I will call you." Of course that phone call became outpatient surgery to do a biopsy. Again, as a 17 year old girl my social life was buzzing and I had things to do. I don't think I knew exactly what was happening or about to happen..maybe I just didn't want to know!

I finished school that day and my step-dad picked me up. I got home and filled a bowl up with cereal and started my after school snack. I remember my mom acting very distant and upset. Both my mom and step-dad were sitting quietly in the living room when they asked me to come in and sit down. First think I thought was, "What did I do?" and of course it was nothing. I was sitting in a chair eating my cereal when my parents explained to me that my tumor came back malignant..YOU HAVE CANCER! I couldn't quite swallow and really didn't say much. I got up and walked back to my sisters room to cry! The doctor came over to my house and we talked about options. I really don't think I knew what I was saying or even wanted, I don't even think I knew what was happening to me. What I did know was that at 17 years old I was not about to lose my hair and I would do everything in my power to make sure that didn't happen. Don't you wish those were your only worries...that's a 17 year old for ya! Anyway, within just 2 weeks I was scheduled for surgery. I would be having a lumpectomy and 6 weeks of radiation to follow up. Now things were beginning to get difficult. I began to realize something was really wrong and I was about to have a tough road ahead of me. Imagine going to school everyday and having to deal with a million other high school kids acting as if you were dying! My surgery went extremely well and the cancer had not spread anywhere else. Recovery was tough, but I had such a large support group of the most wonderful people. I started radiation a couple of months later, which meant everyday I had to leave school early and go straight to the hospital. It was somewhat humorous at times because everyone thought I worked there or was a guest of someone else's. Then I would tell them and they would be shocked! Finally, radiation was over with and life started to get back to normal. I continued to have my yearly mammogram's and blood work, but over all I was doing great!

Unfortunately, things didn't stay that way. This past February, 2002, I went for my normal mammogram, which came back with problems. The doctor said I had these calcifications on my left breast and because of my past history he didn't want to take any chances, he wanted to test them. Again, I was back at the hospital. I was scheduled for a Core biopsy, which was not fun. They took pieces of the calcifications and tested them, which came back fine. Next, I had a small lump again in the left breast and back to surgery I went. At this point I am 26 years old...not a little kid anymore. Things had changed so much in my life, since my senior year in high school and this time around I knew what was happening! Not only was I dealing with it, but now I had Mark, who has been my boyfriend for the last 7 years and he was a mess. He didn't know what to do with himself, but always made sure he was there for me. I was kind of scared at this point, but mostly I was angry! I came to the realization that this is what it is going to be like for the rest of my life...doctors, hospitals, surgery, tests, etc. and that made me upset. I was tired of that and tired of worrying all the time. I wanted this to over with. I had the biopsy and the test results came back showing Atypical lobular Hyperplasia, which put my risk of reoccurrence a bit higher. I visited with other doctors who had many opinions for different routes that we could take, but the final decision had to be mine. I was so confused, but at the same time so sure of some things. I was sure that I wanted this to end and I was sure that I was going to beat this first. I knew that the cancer had not come back at this time, but it could, which made me think of my future. I am 26 years old and will be married soon, once that happens I will start a family and that is what scared me more than anything else. I thought to myself, I do not want to be pregnant and have to deal with my cancer reoccurring and I don't want to have small or even adult children and put them and myself through this mess. So, my decision was....I will not sit and wait for the cancer to come back and ruin my life and if that means taking the first step, than that is what I will do!

July 15 I was scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy. Surgery went well, but recovery was tough. Today, I am only 3 weeks away from my final surgery, which is for the final implants. I know that I made the best choice for me and I don't regret it at all. Having to deal with this problem at such a young age and then again as a young adult has made me a stronger person today, which I am thankful for. But, I can't imagine having to deal with anything as difficult at this. I know the things that I want and will have for my future and I will be dammed if cancer is going to stand in my way!