Jenn's Story, diagnosed at 29

My story is much longer than 450 words. And it's not even half way over. I initially found out I had a problem when I went to visit my gynecologist. He felt a lump, and thus began the ordeal. I have always been anxious about anything dealing with hospitals, doctors, etc. so I actually waited a month before finally making an appointment for a mammography. Sure enough, although my left breast was clear, they found calcification in my right breast. After what seemed like an infinite number of excessive tests, examinations, and consultations, it turned out I had stage 0 breast cancer. The doctors droned on how it was "lucky we caught it early", but all I could hear was cancer and surgery. I wanted nothing to do with it and pushed it off for as long as possible.

I ignored phone calls from doctors and family members, encouraging me to start the process and go through with the surgery before things get worse, but I didn't want to hear it. I felt zero motivation: I am divorced, have no kids, didn't want to deal with medical bills, and thought no one would ever want me after this procedure. However, after realizing it was either this or possibly having less than five years to live, I went with option 1.

I am about to have a mastectomy and will then be getting reconstruction surgery. I started blogging about my thoughts, and doctor visits, and everything inbetween after my second biopsy. I am hoping for the best, but am totally petrified. But I've put my trust in these surgeons and doctors, and now it's out of my hands.